My first kiss happened when I was sixteen. It was summer vacation and I was in a city far from my own. I went to a party with a friend and spent most of the evening making out with a stranger on a trampoline under a starlit sky. I couldn’t have planned it better. He wanted to take it further, but I said no. The best part was that I would never see him again.
When I got home, I immediately told my best friend about this fun and unexpected adventure. She flipped out on me and made me feel bad for giving my first kiss away to some stranger. What the hell? I was proud of myself, for kissing who I wanted, but knowing what I didn’t want from him—sex.
I’m not sure if she was jealous or really thought that first kisses should be kept for someone special. We are trained to think these “firsts” are sacred. They aren’t. Our body is there to help us express ourselves. How will we know how we feel if we censor ourselves all the time? These restrictions lead to pressure and fear. Kissing shouldn’t be feared; it should be fun.
Play it smart. Go with your gut feeling and make sure you always have protection on your person, just in case. Remember that you’re always allowed to say no and stop at any point—even mid-sex. Other than that, do what you want when you feel that it’s right. Most importantly, don’t regret it. Regrets are pointless. We all make mistakes, and statistically, some of your sexual encounters won’t be so great. But, you’ll learn from your experiences.
Years later, I met a girl who was from the town where I had my first kiss. I told her about my the guy and the kiss. She reacted in disgust, “ew, he’s such a loser”. I didn’t flinch. I told her it was fun. Her opinion was of no value to my experience.
My views and beliefs might not match yours, but if there’s one thing you take away from this post it’s to not let anyone shame you. Everyone is different and you’ll find your own way in your own time. Kiss who you want, when you want. Trust yourself.